Restoration to Awkward Places
Restoring My Name My given name at birth was Debra; I was probably named after the perky actress Debbie Reynolds and I remember really loathing my name. While Reynolds is five feet tall (if that) I’m six feet and...
Breaking Down Walls of Self-Protection
I spent most of my life living behind a wall of self-protection. If I was just big enough, strong enough, smart enough or angry enough, I might be able to keep people away, especially those who had power to...
My First Defense Was Anger
“Masculinity is an achievement, not a given, and it is vulnerable to developmental injury.” Joseph Nicolosi I knew sex outside of marriage was sinful and that as a Christian I was not supposed to engage in sexual behavior until...
Do I Need To Forgive My Abuser?
My failure to forgive my stepfather for all the abuse and humiliation he inflicted upon me acted as a barrier to greater healing within me. For years I was consumed with anger, hatred and bitterness toward him. The years...
No Place I’d Rather Be
I have misunderstood and misused my sexuality and my femininity. I’ve had sex before marriage, been involved in a lesbian relationship, and struggled with emotional dependency on both men and women. I certainly did not see myself as a...
Healing Trauma, Fear and Abuse
It wasn’t until I attended my first Living Waters training that I named abuse as part of my past. While listening to the teaching and the definitions for different types of abuse, I realized I had experienced this kind...
A Journey Towards Wholeness
A journey often leads to unexpected places, as did my time attending Living Waters. One evening a man shared his story; while I listened I grew increasingly uncomfortable, fidgeting and becoming agitated. The violation he experienced seemed rather small...
Finding True Identity
“Things will be different for you.” These were the first words that were uttered into my ear the day I was born. They were said by my mother, who was motivated by a desire to break the cycle of...
Becoming a Good Catholic Husband
Years ago, a fellow Catholic shared a statement that struck me. It was at a tavern between sets of an Irish guitar player, over quite a few beers on a guys’ night out that my new bride had consented...
A Broken Man’s Journey to Wholeness
I am a broken man: damaged by neglect and abuse, afflicted with drug and alcohol abuse, acquainted with depression and mental illness. I come from a long line of broken men. My grandfather fled his native country for the...